Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary...

I had never heard of Porter's Seafood and Steakhouse in Beachwood, and there is a reason why. Now the story behind this dining experience is very sweet. Christmas was coming up, and my brother (living many states away) knows that we are foodies and enjoy dining out in Cleveland. So he got online and somehow or another stumbled upon Porter's. He had the brilliant, and thoughtful, plan to purchase a gift certificate online and treat us to a dinner out. If you had witnessed my presents in the past, you would know how amazing this gift idea is in comparison! Well we just got around to using it a few weeks ago, and it left me wildly disappointed after the hype of getting such a wonderful gift from my brother.

Where to begin...The restaurant is located in the Hilton hotel, which is probably why they are struggling to make a name for themselves and are actively marketing their gift certificates all over the place (beware!). It is connected to the hotel's bar, so we had the pleasure (and pleasure is said with intense sarcasm) of listening to She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy and Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back while we ate dinner. Not my idea of mood music.

We started with the calamari appetizer. It was heavily breaded and greasy, with almost no flavor, and we left half of it on the plate. This never happens. I decided to order a filet mignon. How can you screw up filet mignon? Well it happened. The beautiful steak (not cooked the way I ordered) arrived with a massive lump of herb butter perched on top. The steak was swimming in it, and after one bite I knew I was in trouble. Rosemary...the one herb that I absolutely can not stand. Did I mention that the steak was served with mashed potatoes? Not just any mashed potatoes, herb mashed potatoes. Rosemary mashed potatoes to be exact. Now I am a huge filet lover and have always had a soft spot for mashed potatoes, but I had to leave half of them both behind. It was unbearable. By the time we finished dining, it was around 10:00 PM. I had to order coffee just to get the overpowering rosemary flavor out of my mouth- it arrived cold. Thankfully this experience gave us something to chuckle through and joke about for days, but you better believe that I told my brother it was one of the best steak dinners I'd ever had!

Porter's Seafood and Steakhouse
3663 Park East Drive
Beachwood, OH 44122
(216) 464-5950